http://youtu.be/9ZNht19jjjY

"The flames dance in the fire place, its mystical to watch, 

The world around me, seems to have slowed but I can still hear it,, still feel it,, maybe it just wont go away, the more I try to push it away the more it pushes its way through,,

Am I drowning or waving?

I just need you to save me,,,

But I know that no-one can,,, no-one can stop the inevitable, no-one can pause their path, or change their direction, 

I wish I could,, 

I wish I could just disappear,, Havoc deserves more than this,, he already has so much more,, 

I'm out of my head,,

Out of my mind,,,

I'm running out of time, I can feel it deep within my bones, I knew things would never be the same again," 

She sits in front of the fire with 33 curled up beside her, petting her idly as a single tear rolls down her cheek,, 33 nuzzles in closely and she smiles down at her much loved pet, she was the only one she showed her pain to, apart from Raelin but that was a momentary lapse of concentration, but even then she sat in silence keeping her thoughts to herself just staring into the fire.

"It's the first thing you tried,, just go back to Xander,,"

She was falling apart, she could feel it,, all she wanted was to feel normal again,, normal is so hard to fake and she was struggling to keep up with facade,, 

"What if I sold my soul, without it I would have no conscience,, I could fake it so much easier, I wouldn't feel any more,, would that work a deal with a demon,, maybe even the devil,,,"

There were a few people she knew to ask,, but she also knew the consequence of such and action,, but what could you do when all you wanted was for everything to stop,, the crushing pain you left yourself with,, the darkness inside you eating away at every weakness until you just don't feel like you any more,,

"The barriers are man made, and there are so many"

Idly she ran her hand over 33 holding the deadly creature close, there was nothing but the deepest love between the unlikely two, and strange bond that had brought them so close, she lay down curling up with her still watching the flames,, her fingertips moving over the xenomorph.

"I don't know what I would do without you 33"

it was a sentence that carried so much as 33 nuzzled in even closer seeming to return the sentiment,,

Sleep was hard to come by but 33 was always there for her to hold late at night when she just couldn't fight the world any more, times like this she would just hold onto her beloved pet and 33 was more than obliging to give her the comfort she so badly needed,, she was the only one to see the side of her that was left broken and open to the world,, the most vulnerable parts of her,, the parts that she strived to keep hidden from the rest of the world,, she was always there to comfort the darkest of times, the times she felt most alone she was always there,, it was true,, she really had no idea what she would do without her...

"Heaven is on the way,, we'll wrap the world around it"