Smurf one meet smurf two! Erica's not the only one throwing sparks out of the blue! That bein' said, we'd like to get the two blue-haired bitches in a ring and watch the cheap hairdye fly!

    We've got a new Avatar taking the stage as Alfhild comes into play. Her ignited blue flames just can't seem to have any success hopping on the Rom Transportation Center. Seems the little mutt is back on the player's field as he just can't seem to stay loyal. Little blue riding hood seems to be trying to bed Rom. WOAH WAIT! Is Womwom the victim now?! And what is it with chicks suddenly wanting to get with him now that we've seen him as a two year old? This place gets weirder every day.

     Anyways, seems the teacher has now become the student in this little love game! Aren't puppies supposed to be loyal? Man's best friend? Well..seems as woman's best friend they just pull that thing out and wave it in your child's face. Poor Nelly. Maybe all this opium is finally hitting head errr...I mean home. 

    Teery Time!

    Speaking of weird colors. Teery's House of Omelettes & Eggs is being opened once more! Special of the day? Green eggs and ham! Or maybe that was just one of those babies he burned. His abortion clinic is now more popular than ever! Someone's gotta keep Rom in line. This sexy dragon is enjoying those spinach omelettes day and night, with a side of some ass-kicking. Hells. The dragon is at it again. Teery the Lock Ness Monster, hitting the main screens every OOC hour! Be there...or be burnt to a crisp, literally folks. HES ALSO BEEN HAVING A LOT OF SEX WITH BEAUTIFUL BIG BOOBED AMAZONIANS WHILE SAVING THE DAY FROM THE FORCES OF LAMENESS AND HATERS ::coughs:: ehem...... and spam spam spammity spam spam eggs and spam

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    Speaking of the oh-so-amazing Teers, he's been spotted lurking about the Del mansion. What's the man doing there? Maybe he's hoping to chow down on another one of Rom's children. Or maybe he's just looking for a little...excitement. He sure knows how to heat things up, if ya know what I mean. Too bad he's color blind...that's right. The secret's out in the open!

    Le gasp! Does this mean the dragon's batting for both sides? Plainview and the Rebels? Let's just hope he keeps it wrapped in a Hefty bag or there could be some cross-pollination of STDs floating between the two sides. Of course, maybe that's the plan all along. Can anyone say germ "warfare"?

    Broom-bum Witch Puns?

    In other news theres a prissy lil witch running around with a broom up her butt about spelling. Which, in all honesty, a witch SHOULD be picky about 'spelling'. Not to mention all of the terrible puns that have been floating around the tavern since her arrival. Oh doom cries of dooommm.  Could this witch perhaps be from the Third Reich? Ish she perhaps Hitler reborn with blond hair and big boobs? Is this the end of Hellifyno as we know??!!!!

    Family Fued

    With a side of burning and rotiserried babies, seems the Adam's family is having a bit of trouble. Chyla's husband is just Pissss-eeee. Or should we say dicky? Poor mommy joined the Dickview side in order to protect her baby, perhaps from the raging dragon. Who knows! But daddy Silentium threw a bit of a bitch-fit when finding out mommy had a change of heart. Betrayal isn't lacking these days! Little ChyChy was..kidnapped? No, who would do such a thing? Instead she was being petted and pampered by those sexy vampires running around. Uh-oh! That sure didn't make daddy proud. I smell a love affairrr...

    There's a new Lilith taking the stage. Not our sweet sexy breakable ferret, but some dark mysterious woman threatening Rom's manhood. Of all things! This growling mutt didn't seem too happy with his exploding balls. Seems to everyone else he's getting a bit sex deprived. The poor man was seen by one of our little scurrying imps to be complaining about his ordeal of lacking in six times a day sex . Six times a day doesn't necessarily mean he's not getting six people a day! This list contains half of Hellifyno! Including his nieces and nephews! Maybe all those smurfs rubbed off on him, blue balls do seem to be in style now. One sight and you have those women running for the hills! Perhaps that's where all our nymphs ran off to...

    In other news, more stuff about Rom's balls. And now, the weather. 

    Since when did we get a weather report? Iunno, but it sucks, now we know how crappy the weather is. They shoulda just left us to imagine this stuff. Watch out for Monday, Teery's hangover is gunna be causing a WILD storm. At least we'll know how it feels to be inside of his easy-bake oven! While Delilah's "crimson fog" of the month is set to coorespond with Hellifyno's own on Friday. Saturday we'll be seeing the Witch Bitch have a blast of confetti with her heightened magic. Those on her hotlist better watch out.

    Whores Skanks and Affairs?

    Lady Amarantha's gettin' cozy with Oddman...and Kai Schneider...and Belial... Looks like she's startin' her own version of the Rom Train. Let's see how much cargo this one can tack on...word is, she can fit a whole lot in there, if ya know what I mean  and we're not just talking about the canned goods. We're talking about  the ones that have to be shaken up just a little bit. Maybe our little  Ama friend should hit up Ivan. Rumor has it that man has a LOT in one  package. Ever heard the saying: Where there's one...there's more? This  kiddo seems to be sporting twin dicks! I already hear Ama picking up the phone and dialing this deprived man's digits! Looks like immortality has given this skanky Lady a complex, someone put Teery's Abortion Clinic on speed dial, and don't let Womwom catch her scent! Speaking of which, we didn't know it was low tide?

    Gettin' Cozy in the Coffin

    Death has a girlfriend? Does this one sparkle in the sunlight too? At least we know his boner works. Who knew he was such a softy..or hardy? Maybe he's got more in common with Abaddon than he thought! Hopefully we wont be hearing: "Till Death do us part" in the nearby future! Something tells us that, that will be one un-lively party.  Normally things would be getting heated up between two lovebirds but  this one just seems to be sending chills down our spines. Let's hope  he's not TOO awfully boney for the wedding ceremony.

    Jayden's turning to Havoc for comfort after her blowout with Big Red. Uh-oh, some sexual healing going on there?  Seems Dommy boy made a mistake in letting our new whore friend take a  bite out of him. Jayden's jealousy streak took over when the big bad  demon let our vamp friend Valno suck on his di---blood..without Jaybird  being there. Someone's going to be pecking away at the man's throat now.  Can anyone say bird's eye point-of-view? Is Valno looking to match Lady Amarantha and Rom's rosters? Soon enough, we're gonna have to start keepin' a scoreboard....after we douse it in bleach, of course. And how long until we all just end up in a big sweaty pile in the middle of the tavern?

    Carolina in Love?

       Sweeettttt Caroliinneeeeee OH OH OH?

    Is Carol really hatin' on the Bael or is this just her version of hard to get? Either way...the hard parts workin' out quite well for our feisty friend. But the getting might take a little longer to capture this white haired bundle of joy. Of course we all know her one true love is the big red chix, yes thats right, our very own barbie doll in a training bra has deep and profound unresolved feelings of love pertaining to a certain fast food chain that starts with a K and ends with a C. And we all know about the F'ing in between. 

    Cas Is Now Angel Soft

    Baby Cas' temper tantrum. Is the little boy tired of being treated like a child by Claudia? Welp! Looks like he finally fits the profile! Our mundane hero finally takes the spotlight as the whiney nextdoor neighbor's kid that just can't seem to grow up! The little whelp  FINALLY must realize what it feels like to "be a real boy!" Breast feeding and all. Ans better get her milkers ready.