The balance of hope and despair is always zero.

As much as I wished for the happiness of one, another has to be equally cursed.

 

I always wished for everyone around me to be happy. That way, there would be no sadness, there would be all of us laughing and having fun together. So I tried to be happy for everyone. I smiled all the time and joked about, hoping to also make others smile and laugh with me. And to some extent, I think it worked.

   But since I wished for the happiness of others, I was equally cursed with despair. I fell apart inside. I can't tell who I am anymore. Am I human? Am I a demon? Which side of me has more control? Why is my work doing nothing? These questions turned into sorrow and despair, choking me when I'm alone.

And because of that, pain and resentment took root in my heart. 

   My wish fell apart, and I tried to save it in vain. I tried to be happy for everyone. But there's only so much I can hold inside. 

  And no one noticed me. I resented everyone for that - I tried to do them good and they couldn't help me in return because they wouldn't notice me.

   I have only a few friends, almost none of which I tell my sadness to. If I were to tell them and make my sorrow obvious, then I wouldn't be spreading happiness and hope. I would be scattering despair.

My resentment of others grew.

   One day, what remaining hope will turn into despair. When that day comes, I'll turn on those I wished to help and curse them with all my heart.

That's how the story of a girl who wishes on others goes. 

It never ends happily.

Hello, Rolepages! I'm still alive. Sorry for my long absences. It's been a mixture of school work and messed up priorities that's been keeping me away.

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