- Intro Video
“With a crocodile smile and five robot knuckles to your kisser.”
- Who Am I...
The Shittalk Extraordinaire
- My Appearance
The handsome product of a romantic and very intense scissoring session between Mother Nature and The Machine.
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Green
• Right Eye – Cutting edge optics supporting infrared, heat vision, x-ray, and all kinds of spectrum adjustments. I can really undress you with my eye. Square iris for added pizzazz.
• Arms – Standard loadout is adamantium base with nanofiber musculature under carbon mesh skin. Forearms are segmented to allow reconfiguration. Hands completely cast from adamantium. Tactile inlay on the inside of the palms and fingers. Arms can be detached and changed for other loadouts as needed.
• Ribcage – Completely exchanged for a reinforced plasteel cage. Keeps my organs nice and cozy.
• Spine – Reinforced on the inside and outside to allow ultra heavy lifting without snapping.
• Reinforced Skeleton – Calcium bones are so 21st century. High density ceramics is where it’s at.
• Lungs – Artificial lungs with a built in rebreather. Protect from all kinds of airborne toxins, viruses, and nasty people breath.
• Heart – Gotta juice all this hardware somehow and still keep what’s left of the feeble organics going. Synthetic muscle powered by a miniaturized cold fusion generator.
• Liver & Kidneys – I go through these like an obese mexican child through enchiladas. Space drugs, baby!
• Left Foot – Sometimes you just pick the wrong spot to go harpoon fishing. Nothing special, just a really fluid stepper. Can still break toes like a mufucker.
• Auditory System – I can hear a cockroach fart from the other side of town.
• Brain Implants – Lotsa’ chips to facilitate remote control of my squad.
• Datajacks – One drilled in the right temple, one in the lower back of the head.
Completely immune to bullshit.
|01| Cubik |01|
Dimensions: 1m W x 1m L x 1m H
Defence: Adamantium chasis and plating.
Offence: He’s a nerd, not a fighter. Capable of zapping yo ass tho.
Agility: Floats using an Anti-Gravitational Levitation drive.
Utility: The neuromantic mechamancer’s ultimate toolbox. Can also unfold into a durable exoskelethon covering everything besides the arms. Capable of subsonic flight in this mode.
Nine’s notes: A cube made of pure military grade awesome. Speaks only L337. Cubik is actually a personality back-up of Yours Truly before I synched myself into the 8 other machines on the squad and kinda fried my pickles. You could say I talk to myself a lot.
|02| Watchdog |02|
Dimensions: 1.5m W x 2m L x 2.5m H
Defence: Ceramic plated plasteel. Not mega durable, but the armor can easily be restored to 100% in field conditions with designated kits.
Offence: A pair of 3 gauge automatic shotguns instead of arms. Microwave emitters mounted on shoulders.
Agility: Good boy.
Utility: High-end scanning equipment of every kind.
Nine’s notes: This puppy was made to watch my back and crowd control. It can turn swarms of zombies into finely ground paste in a matter of minutes, take a 5 second breather to reload the big ass cartridges, and continue to bark till the barrels burn white. Police tactical teams shit their pants when this thing stomps out of an ongoing bank robbery. The microwave emitters make popcorn to die for and kill any sucka who decided to loiter in range while waiting for their popcorn.
|03| Mercurial |03|
Dimensions: 2m W x 2m L x 3m H
Defence: “Be like smoke. Stealing the enemy’s sight and breath, then disappearing into nothingness when they strike.”
Offence: “A laden tree sways in the breeze of flitting forms. All the cherries – gone.”
Agility: “I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.”
Utility: Omni Cloaking Device / Sight-range Teleporter
Nine’s notes: The reconnaissance and ambushing expert of the squad. Not as durable as my other bots, but I can count the hits it’s taken on the toes of my missing foot. The OCD nanoflage renders it completely undetectable on even subatomic level but goes through a pack of AA batteries faster than a large hadron collider. Okay, maybe not that power hungry, but it does drink lotsa juice.
|04| Haywire |04|
Dimensions: 2m W x 3m L x 3m H
Defence: Gold inlaid vibranium
Offence: Spam Injectors / Datawave Emiters / Electricity
Agility: Zap Zap, Mothafucka!
Utility: EMP Generator / System Hijacker
Nine’s notes: This thing makes french fries out of electronics. It’s just crazy like that. It can’t only deep fry ’em with electricity and electromagnetism galore, but also targets their computers. First it overclocks the processor then injects so much bullshit into the operating system that a military mech can change it’s occupation into full time hotplate. Haywire is the reason all my shit is EMP shielded.
|05| Warmonger |05|
Dimensions: 4m W x 4m L x 5m H
Defence: Robust adaptive plating
Offence: Physics in all its deadly variety
Agility: Coked up silverback
Utility: Environmental hazard nullification / Orbital deployment capabilities
Nine’s notes: The apex of high tech smithing. Warmonger’s plating and chassis are practically indestructable. It’s not too big or heavy by bipedal tank standarts, but it builds inertia rapidly and keeps it for however long I need to. This turns it into a highly mobile juggernaut of kinetic destruction. Its arms are designed to use a variety of gats and melee weapons, though it rarely needs them. No party is complete without this thing busting through the roof like a meteor of big dick energy, fuckin all the shit up in the immediate vicinity, and then leaving with yo girl.
|06| Inquisitor |06|
Dimensions: 3m W x 4m L x 6m H
Nine’s notes: ???
|07| Sparrow |07|
Dimensions: 3m W x 3.5m L x 4m H
Nine’s notes: ???
|08| Big Dog |08|
Dimensions: 8m W x 8m L x 9m H
Nine’s notes: ???
|09| ??? |09|
Dimensions: ?m W x ?m L x ?m H
Nine’s notes: Beat the game to unlock this character.
- My Secrets Are...
I am a world class knitter who sometimes unironically enjoys Indian soap operas with a glass of rosé.
- I Believe...
In SCIENCE!!! Fuck maths tho.