Amazon Box

Intro Video



Amazon Prime: Amazon Box can summon anything he wants inside himself, assuming it can fit. He can reach inside himself and pull it out, or deliver it to someone. Very useful.

Air delivery: Amazon Box can telepathically call an airstrike of Amazon drones to gun down a target, bomb an area, drop packages, and basically anything else he wants.

Hey Alexa: Amazon Box can summon Alexa to help him out.

Boxy Dog: Amazon Box can be quite savage! He is about 20 times as powerful as a trained combat dog. And he can kill. Easily.

I SMELL PENNIES: If there are any pennies nearby, Amazon Box gains hoards of power, and if the situation calls for it, he emits a terrifying scream before ripping everyone and everything to shreds.

Who Am I...

I'm a box with black, fuzzy legs. Don't try to rip or stab me, my cardboard exoskeleton is stronger than you may think…

Romantic Interests

Refrigerator boxes.

Relationship Status

I haven't found someone to give my delivery to… if ya know what I mean.

My Story Is...

My father, Jeff Bezos, kept me as a pet while he took care of his business. Speaking of human fathers, how did his wife bear me? Or was I just adopted? How am I even alive?!

My Appearance

It me.


Whatever is inside me.

My Secrets Are...

Amazon is always watching. There’s just something so exciting about watching unsuspecting customers go about their routines, everyone is different. Oh, and don’t open your closet tonight.

I Believe...

Nothing special. I have no personal or biased beliefs. I am a box.