M.J. Muffet


Who Am I...

Just a chick with 8 'extra' legs

Romantic Interests

I'm an equal opportunity lover, if ya know what I mean…

Relationship Status

I'm all about that free love!

My Story Is...

Just a chill girl, y’know? I ain’t got much to hide. Yeah, I’m a drider, we’re a thang. Just don’t see much of us on account of some people bein’ assholes and always bein’ scared of spiders even when we ain’t doin’ a gotdamn thang but livin’ our best lives.


My folks live up in the mountains, makin’ an honest livin’. Old man and his brothers is coal miners, momma and her sisters was seamstresses, ‘cuz yeah, free silk, an’ me? I was bored as all get out, tired of livin’ away from folk, an’ decided to head on out on my own t’ see what was out there.


Tend to wander, back-packin’, hitch-hikin’, couch-crashin’. When I need money on the side, I’ll take up the odd job here ‘n there. Need the cash to… fuel my favorite hobby, which all I’mma say is… pretty lit, ya know? Pretty dank, if ya know what I’m sayin’…


I like pot. And people. Dudes, chicks. Booze, preferably moonshine, which I know how to make myself if ya got a distillery. Just like havin’ a good-ass time.


Only thing I hate is folks that’s ‘fraid of spiders. I ain’t gonna bite ya, ‘less ya ask real nice and sweet.

My Appearance

Maryjane “M.J.” Muffet is an impressive specimen, standing at a full 7 foot height if she’s not slouching. Her hair is a shining golden blonde, her skin a healthy and glowing even though she’s fairly pale. And that’s just the more human qualities about her. Her chitinous exoskeleton is a floral pink color, shining brighter than her hair in the sun, and even has a glitter-like quality to it in the right lighting.

However, one of the first things anybody notices about her isn’t the size black eyes on her face, but the fact she’s got a pair of 38 GG boulders on her chest.