Once again.. I found my own Hell on Earth… Ska and Be Lial have managed to Conspire and Rip me Apart from John.. As I found myself sick with nauseousness from only having learned that I am now Pregnant.. With a Baby growing inside me, that could be that of Be Lials… How stupid of me for allowing my Trust to be Blinded.. I am Nothing More than Pathetic Weak Human Given a Gift, which I took as A Curse.. And now finding its too Late…
How could John a Vampire, understand this? Understand that I allowed myself to be Fooled by such ChildHood Trickery in by his World… I should have been Smarter.. It was All of Ska’s Plan to Cut me Down, Vein by Vein.. Nail, by Nail, Muscle by Muscle, leaving me nothing but Shame, and Betrayal.. How could I have been soo Stupid??
And to have this “Thing” inside me.. That I Dont even know who’s it is.. Leave me Feeling Dead Inside.. As the Blackness Seeps into My Heart.. And feeding the Child with Misery, Tears, and Hate with Despair.. Ohh God, What Have Done?!? This was Suppose to be My Happiest Day Of Our Lives, And Its Turned Into Bloody Nightmare that is Real!! As the Disgust just Pours out of my Skin, and Drips into a Puddle on the Floor with no reflection back..
I have no one to Blame but myself… To be Mixed up in a World I know Nothing About.. And Leave my Trust Unguarded.. I Wanted a Real Family Soo Badly, with the Man that I Loved and Called Mine!! And To Be Apart of His World, In This Dark Realm with his Family and Friends.. And Grow To Be Strong Shellan for Him to be Proud Of!! Has now been Severed…. Cut like Cord..
I Dont Belong Here.. I Dont Belong With Anyone…
Im Pathetic.. I Should Just Let my Misery Run My Life.. I Have Nothing Anymore to Offer..
And I Practically About To Beg at Deaths Door..
Ahh God!! Help Me???