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ben

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1 My name is Ben and I used to live in a simple split level one bedroom apartment at ground level of the two story Willow Creek Villas in the eastern less populated area of Sparks Nevada you might recognize the area better labeled as Reno Nevada. Surrounded by the Sierra Nevada mountains, snow at the peaks of which would usually remain there year round. Kids played and peddled their bycicles on sidewalks that ran between the complex’s sections or on a small street known as Coupler Way which ran like a main artery up the middle of the complex . Pine tree’s dotted the lawns that stretched each area from the edge of Coupler Way and everywhere in between the sidewalks, The complex was no bigger than a football field and kept tidy by the landscapers. There was a gated pool and tennis court nestled in the center of the complex S shaped layout. Gardens were strewn about the walls of the complex with various types of colorful flowers, shades of blues reds and yellows. I never had any problems with any of the neighbors, most all that I encountered were very friendly and would greet you as they saw you. And the management of the complex employed a security team to patrol and keep a watchful eye on the premises. I had called this place home for only two years of my life. All an all it was a nice place to live. I spent most of my time alone. I’m your average loner, I went to work, paid my bills and survived as a cashier at a convenient store. Nothing to be proud of or anything but it was a job and I was comfortable. Change scares the hell out of me and yet I craved it. I am the type of person who can easily be ensnared by routine. I thrived on repetition. Maybe you have gone through some of the same daily struggles that I have. The same thoughts… “This is my life, this is the hand I was dealt.” Always wanting more but never actually putting any real effort into a simple idea so it can florish… Being a little envious of people who get to see and travel the world. Those people who seem like they don’t have to worry about anything accept being late to the airport on their next adventure to a new country. Surely this can’t be all that you were meant for can it? There has got to be more to life than just “being” right? But I liked being stable. A steady income and enough to make it day to day… My life was on repeat and I was beginning to get fed up. I often wondered what I could have done with my self instead of just wasting away in routine. I had a few typical hobbies like any other person. I wasn’t the best artist in any sense of the word but I enjoyed trying to be. I’ve never had the greatest focus either. Often hearing people say that I have A.D.D… I’m also pretty sure I may suffer from a mild case of O.C.D. as well but thats debatable… Anyway, I am in no writer, but I will try my best to put into words the events I’ve experienced in the last few months. I feel compelled to record these events just in case I am unable to convey them later if God forbid I do not survive any further into this mess… Because I have hope that someday everything we once knew will return to normal I don’t know you. But if you continue reading this you will know me. I don’t know what you have been through up to this point in your life. But to me the struggles and thoughts I once tried to cope with don’t seem so difficult anymore. When I started to get bored of my life this is definately not the change I was hoping for…

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