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Gwen Poole – 2 Coole 4 Schoole

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That happened. I did that.

Holyshit. Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

This is my job.

It had been a fight. Dad yelling, Mom calmly supporting him, Brother sitting awkwardly to the side.


No job again. Again. There had been a job, a dumb one, a soul-sucking sort, dead-end, nothing worth having, anyone could’ve done it, and I lost it. Not good enough. Just like the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. 


And before that? Not a chance. Who wants the just-turned-18 year old high school dropout? No time to have gotten a G.E.D., no other work experience, no special skills that anyone is going to pay you for… No hope. And then, a job…


And now, again, no job. Failure. Dad’s not yelling because he’s mad, he’s just disappointed, and can see that I resent him for it, which makes him worry, which makes him yell to just get the point across. Mom’s calmly supporting him, interjecting occasionally with a soft word about how I just need to apply himself.

There is… a lot going on. Ar’Elis. Hadn’t been here until recently in my whole time here, not that I’ve been here long. But it is… nuts. A really cool lady just made the whole building light up like a laser show. Showed up here because she makes portals. Came here with my mercenary boss and his company, a slightly unhinged barbarian guy I helped out once, an army of demonic warriors, and too many people that I’ve both met and never seen before now.


All here to kill one guy. Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia. Came out of a magic card. Not the first person who came out of a magic card that I’ve helped kill

This is my job.


I can barely even describe it all. There’s robots, there’s dragons, there’s legendary figures flying around and killing so many of us. But not me. I’m not dead. Why am I not dead? I don’t even have time to ask. The only thing in my head is that I am a champion.

I have a pet now, a chinchilla. I have a sword now, also a chinchilla. I’ve blown up a factory. Didn’t think I could do that, but I did. Also tried to start a riot. That didn’t go so well. I’ve killed people now. Vampires, and a normal guy or two, but evil people, trying to take over the world. Giovanni. And then I’m back at this… place. And this old man calls me a champion.


No one has ever genuinely told me that I was anything but a loser and had me believe it, but he calls me a champion. It fills my head, my heart, and I barely know him.


He died. Right in front of me. I almost died too, but… I saw something, or it saw me? Called out to me, and I answered it by taking it in my hand. Hadn’t held a sword before that night, and now, I have two. One is a chinchilla, which doesn’t do much, and the other is a… talking sword. Talking in my head.


I’m… awesome, I think. A champion.

Met a mercenary, joined his group, been training my ass off since Giovanni went down. Exercising for the first time in my life outside of a P.E. class. Trying to train a chinchilla, too, but for non-combat reasons, and chatting it up in my head with a living magic weapon with a funky accent and a hatred for trolls.


Ended up helping this… element-bending, kung-fu badass chick with taking down some pop culture figures that are coming into the world from these magic cards. She offered to train me, I took her up on it.


Things were looking good.



Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia. He’d just been… right there. Right in front of me. Ar’Elis. Biggest battle I’ve ever seen outside of a movie, and I’m part of it. I’m supposed to be leading it, I think, even though I didn’t ask to.


He’d just stepped out. Right in front of me.


And I had a chinchilla.


Of course I killed him. Of course. To free my friend, my teacher, to save the world that… made me a champion. Because I am. I am a champion.


This is my job.


Moral of the story kids? Don’t stay in school.

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