He’s never considered this to be an option. Not once in Desmond’s whole life has he ever considered anything at all of this sort. Hell, to think he came up with the idea from a joke that Zoey had said to Lily. Most people come here for lots of reasons, and fix them all with one action. For Desmond, he has a lot he can choose from, yet today, he’s here for one specific reason.
Catholics. Something he’s always hated to be around for their ignorance. And yet, he was raised to be one. While his parents rose their hands on Zoey, he was forced into church. Was taught everything he could be taught. Told how to act, and cram packed with false ideologies about how the world works.
And yet.. Here he is, standing at the church’s doorstep, his hand levitating above the handle. If one were to pay enough attention, they’d be able to see he’s shaking. He remembers protesting against his father here, years ago. Telling him that if he’s a man of such faith, he’d stop abusing Zoey. But no.
She’s a child of sin. He said. She’s a curse on the family. He said.
He wasn’t saying that to her face when Desmond held them hostage. That was the one thing Desmond can admit he felt proud doing during his bout of insanity. It made him feel like he was finally doing something with his abilities, rather than just impress father.
Oh, but mother.. What did she do? Nothing.. she was a victim as well. She just did what Father said. She was his slave. Not much of a wife. She cared for both Desmond and Zoey equally, if Desmond remembers correctly..
Enough thinking about his parents. It’s time to grow a set and admit the wrong that’s weighed him down the most.
“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
Silence on the other end. May be the priest contemplating what Desmond has said. After all, last time Desmond saw this man was when he was a kid. The priest was much younger, and now he’s older than the wind. What was his name, what was his name..? Ah!
“Father Gregory, are you okay?”
Silence again. Long, excruciating silence. Desmond sighs, and goes to push himself up and leave. At least, he was.
“Desmond, my boy.. Take a seat and begin. I’m not going to give you the treatment you aren’t worth.”
Unexpected. However, he believed he’d be met with several thousand crosses and twice as much holy water.
He lets out a deep exhale, and begins.
There’s one thing of many that’s been bothering me. That one thing has kept me up at night. While true, everything has kept me up, but this… It comes to me during the day, during the sleep I do get, and hell, it’s followed my deepest thoughts. It’s the one thing that has shaken me the most. The day I lost my sanity. The day I betrayed, and killed, the one and only person on this planet I’ve felt romantically attached to.
Don’t look at me like that, father. I can sense your movement on the other end. Yes, I infact fell in love with someone. Surprising, even to myself. What’s wrong is what I did.
I felt my self slipping- granted, it’s a feeling I had always felt, a feeling of disconnection that I was sure she would have filled in, but I didn’t realize how wrong I truly was. How much I was lying to myself, and her.
I loved this girl with every fiber of my being, her name engraved into the back of my mind to this day- Emilia. Nicest name I’ve heard since birth. Pretty, rolls off the tongue. She had a voice like honey that soothed the ears, and my god not a single woman on Hellifyno could match her beauty. She was.. Something else.
Her one and only flaw, was loving me. While I returned the love she gave me, all of it genuine, I was still.. I was still losing myself. I was still losing the very foundations that made my sanity.
One night, I expressed this to her. I let her venture into my mind, and see what was wrong. I had opened my mind and linked it with hers, and from there, she ventured into my subconscious, crawling deep into the very dark corners of me, as she tried to see what was wrong herself, as I couldn’t do anything about it. I could have sworn I felt her inside my head, going through my thoughts. This was where everything went wrong.
I had begun slipping further into insanity, my mind began acting on it’s own. My paranoia had increased, and that action of feeling her inside my head haunted me, tortured me. So, I began to shut her out. I forced her out of my head, something I shouldn’t have done. I said I wouldn’t, that I’ll be sure to warn her and make sure she gets out safe. Yet I didn’t, and now, she’s currently in a coma, her mind no longer in working order. After this, her parents had attempted to kill me. I had turned and killed them the night they tried.
This being said, I have confessed the one sin I’d like to have forgiven…
“You can leave the rest how they are.”
Silence falls upon them. The dust from outside the booth had slipped in somehow, making the air hard to breathe. It damn near choked Desmond.
“You are forgiven.”
The silence breaker.
Desmond nods, and exits the booth, walking towards the front door. The only sound heard in the entirety of the church was Desmond’s shoes hitting the tiles, and people’s murmuring.