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[OOC] My Mindset At The Moment.

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Hi! A lot of you who are reading this might not know me, after all there’s people coming into the site brand spankin’ new every day it seems. All you need to know though is that I’ve had my characters story being told within the Rolepages world of Hellifyno for… two years? Maybe two and a half? Anyways…

I haven’t been active for a number of reasons, all of which are deeply personal so I won’t vent them all out here. Though there is one I can share; laziness. God have I grown lazy. I miss the days I used to be able to stay up until four in the morning writing blogs or adding to them, or role playing in the chats, attending events, and even leaving a mark on the world of Hellifyno through Zoey.

Now any time I look at the key board and the words “Rolepages” enter my mind I end up going to YouTube instead. Guess I’ve burnt myself out, huh?

So then comes another situation, one I’m pondering right now as I stare at my phone with Lo-Fi playing in the background; have I lost my writing spirit, or am I getting tired of the story I’m writing?

I’ve taken breaks, lord knows I have. Although each time I come back it doesn’t feel like it was enough. I end up feeling shitty or like I’m not doing good enough, or just with this general feeling of… dread. I can’t think of any word to really describe it. I’ve of course lost inspiration and am currently hanging onto old formulas that worked maybe a year ago when I started really kicking off the story of my characters, but that won’t cut it later. I’m stuck in this perpetual loop of “let’s keep writing and coming up with ideas” and “let’s give up.”

I think until I’m done writing out part 2-B for Culling Voices I might make another one of these, though on a different topic. Dunno why, I just feel a bit better picking apart my brain publicly for the world to see.

Ugh, I shoulda worded that differently. Now it just feels weird.

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