What does a god think when they are alone? When they have no where to be? When they find themselves without company and without distraction? Do they turn their attention towards their goals? Justifying the means of which they have used to attain their own selfish desires? Do they become resolute in the choices that it has made? The sacrifices? Do they focus on their mistakes? Is a divine being even capable of something so mortal? So human? Do they think on the blood of those that they once called brother that now stains their hands? The betrayal that they have committed? Or do they simply dismiss such things in favor of false comforts?
What does a god think when he is alone? In those quiet moments of solace when there is no one around to distract his wandering mind? When he hears not the whispers of prayer? When he walks the empty chambers of his palace? When he is entirely alone? Where is it that his mind is to wander? Is it to the past? Of the journeys that he has undertaken? The friends that he has made? Is it too the future? To the conquests to be had and the battles to be faced? Does it wander towards the things that once brought him comfort but now fill him with only a hollow apathy? Or does it instead march towards that which he desires?
What does a god think when it is alone? When it sits on a throne built on the bones of those that were once loyal to him? When the only feeling is the weight of the sovereign crown upon its head? When it’s grand hall now lays empty. Does it think on the river of blood that as sprung from it’s existence? Does it remember a time without solitude? Does it long for the gentle laughter of friends? For the company of those who’s presence it enjoys? Does it still see their faces? Its victims? Does it think back to the moment this all began? To those crucified for their mortal nature?
What does Raziel think now that he is alone? Now that he has carved a bloody scar into the relationships that he once had. Now that he had become the very thing that he once hated? Does he wonder what might have been if he had made different choices? Does he think on the family that he has lost? His children? The lives that he once cherished? The hope he once had for a life more than where it stood now? Does he think on those times where he almost felt normal? That time at the beach with Lua and Ulfmaeer and Siccy? The nights he spent with his many lovers? Does he begin to wonder if maybe he should have picked one? If perhaps his polygamous ways somehow lead him to where he was? Does her face still haunt him? Does he wish for the sweet rest of oblivion?
Or perhaps somewhere deep down does he wish someone would stop him? Wish that it could all go back to the way it was? What if instead he longed for the days where he could walk with his children? When he could drink with friend and his belly was filled with laughter? What if this being of death and destruction, who had declared war his own pantheon, only wanted for a simpler time? What if, in his most vulnerable moments, it was all he could do to not cry out for forgiveness? What if these were the things that Gods thought about when they were alone. Alas, we shall never truly know what goes on in the mind of a god when it lays in solitude.