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Tearlach vs The Ass Eater Monster

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Deep in the depths of the Crystal forest, a bright flash appears. In the newly formed crator is a benuded figure. “So this is where it is? The Ass Eating Monster.” He cracked his neck, the naked highlander marching forward. “We will find out who the true ass eater is.”


The Ass Eater Monster


This deep in the forest, where no maids or constructs dared dwell… there dwelled a smelly beast. Summoned by the highlander, despite the random blink in reality, the foul stench heralded the arrival of The Ass Eater Monster of Paracosm. It was not a beast that ate ass, but the ass of a beast that ate! Its maw resembled the rear end of a dear, though the tail lifted to reveal a horrible maw of teeth. The huge hairy creature stank like sasquatch after a hazing party,and the horrid beast was now charging the naked highlander from the treeline!



He would stretch, his joints popping loudly. “Now then.” As he stepped forward, his fingers curling tight. “Time to give this creature a good fisting.” He waited as the large fuzzy beast came forward, like it was about to sit on him. Waiting for the large opening needed he raised his fist up, to catch it in the jaw. Just warming it up, too soon for the big finish.


The Ass Eater Monster


It was a mighty beast indeed, looking like a disjointed hybrid of elk, bear, and ape. Thick brown fur hung from its massive body, the color and smell resembling waterfalls of feces.The creature was an apex predator, well used to prey that fought back. Rather than break or even bruise the jaw, Tear’s strike caused the mouth to unhinge like a snake. The hole of death spread wide, rows of bearlike teeth revealed as the gaping maw of the beast roared at the highlander!



“Oh you’re a tough one. Used to a pounding” He would back up and disloge a crystal tree, his muscles pulsing and veiny. The exertion causing him to pant a bit. He’d throw it at the creature, no harm on using a tool to help.


The Ass Eater Monster


The beast bellowed, but quickly the scream was muffled as the beast gagged of the huge insertion. It took great effort the dislodge the wood from its throat, but this beast knew out to use its hands as well as its mouth! Huge clawed hands resembling those of a gorilla crossed with a bear dislodged the mass,  and the beast retaliated by spewing balls of slimy, half digested tree back as foul smelling projectiles! 



He wasn’t a stranger to sticky situations, but this was something he’d better pack in quick. With another grunt he took up his tree again, gripping the wood with both hands. It was time to wrap this ass up, and go for the money shot. He stood there, squeezing his log with all his might and thrusting forward


The Ass Eater Monster


The beast was mighty, lunging forth to grip at Tear’s arms… but this was more than it could bear. Its cheeks bulged to the sides as its mouth was stretched by the weapon of the nude warrior. It gags, the rough treatment forcing fowl smelling vomit that wreaked of its last meal to surge forth onto the poor highlander. The beast hacked and coughed as it pounced backwards on its warped legs. Looking at Tearlach with a combination of pain, defeat, embarrassment… and solidarity in those doe like eyes.



There he stood, sticky and covered in bodily fluids, triumphant. He had bested the beast, though he could not fully slay it. For he knew in his heart, and ass that majestic must be free


The Ass Eater Monster


The shit dressed creature let out a flatulent howl before returning to it lair to wallow and await the next challenger. But for the first time, it would be going home empty and gaping… finally meeting its ass eating match.



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