Donnybrook Cemetery, Dublin Ireland.
“H-hi da..” Came a voice as shaky as a leaf. The body it came from was equally as so. This once strong huntress was now frail, weakened. Not the Alice anyone knew. Something her ego didn’t like at all. It felt attacked, it felt weakened. But this was a weak point for the Fire Cracker. She was back to being a little girl again; huddled against her mom and dad. Holding her baby sister on her lap and pointing to the next book to be read to them.
This wasn’t the woman she looked and saw herself as today, this was a bright-eyed, warm and caring little girl. One who had a bright future and amazing singing voice in the bathtub holding her Little Mermaid doll and pouring her heart out.
But this woman now, was cold, condescending and quick to use that once cheerful and happy voice for spit and hate. Nothing was safe. But even her shell cracked sometimes.
Alice sniffled, running her gloved hand over her nose with a huff, looking down to the grave-stone of her lost parents. Fiddling a metal cap in her pocket, finally bringing herself to speak again. “It’s yer birthday again… Sorry I didn’t make it fer mums..S-Sam’s been sayin’ things again. Doona’no if I trust mum right now.” Alice claims lowly, shifting her chocolate eyes over her mother’s side then back to her fathers with a weak smile. “But, am here fer ya. Not them. How ya doin’ up there? Is it warm? Are we there with ya?” Alice leans forward and takes her hand from her pocket, placing a bottle cap of what looked to be from a root beer down on the top of the grave on her father’s side. “Brought ya this.. I know how ya like yer homemade root beer. Even went down to ol’ Sandy’s fer one. He’s still alive, can ya believe it? Hah! The old hare still kickin’.” Alice shakes her head and sighs a small laugh. “I had one fer both of us; hope ya don’t mind…”
Alice grew silent, sniffing her nose once more raised her head. “I guess… I just wanted ya to know I love an’ miss ya. Even mum… I think Samantha does too. Sam’s… Sam…” Alice clutches her hand, gnawing her teeth together. “Part of me wants to forgive her. Let her back into me life. Love an’ protect her again like ya both did to us. But I just can’t get over it. How do ya forgive somethin’ like that? They killed you both and she became one of them fuckers!” Tears were bursting from her eyes, her shoulders heaving. Alice felt like the life line of her family was on her shoulders. She was the last. Her parents were gone, her sister was dead to her. She was alone. She’d never admit it. But she felt it, and it was killing her inside. Made her feel weak, and no matter what she tried to do it was hard to shake it now.
“Sorry…” She apologizes in a small voice to the grave, staring down at her parents’ names, frowning while the cold morning pricked her fingers. “Am still yer good girl.. Always will be. I love ya. I love ya and mum. And fuckin’ damn I miss ya both… I wish you didn’t have to go. Why did you have to go?” She whines, biting down on her lip that wiggled. Swallowing the painful lump in her throat that threatened her tears. “Why did ya have to leave? W-what did Sam an’ I do to deserve that? What did any of us ever do?! Dammit mum! Mum did you do?!” Her foot came up, kicking her mother’s name once before crumbling to her knees. Placing her forehead to the grave. Tears rivering down her flushed cheeks from the cold and sobs. Burning her skin with the cold, her body shivering from both the tears and cold.
“What’d ya do, mum? What does Samantha mean…? Why’d ya do it? I can’t take not knowin’ anymore. I can’t….” Alice’s body heaves with her sobbing, her voice cracking behind the tears. Practically hugging the grave now as she submitted her will to it. Suppressing her ego for her parents. Let the world see her weak, just this once. Letting her body break to the cry that she’d kept inside for a very long time. Can’t let the world know how hurt you really are. It will use it and abuse it like a two cent whore. “Am goin’ to find out. I swear I am. Sam can’t hide forever, an’ neither will mums secrets. I’ll find it out I promise ya. An’ when I do, I’ll come back and put ya to peace once an’ ferall. You’ll see.”
Whipping the icy cold tears from her face and mustering up her strength Alice rose from her parent’s grave. A pained smile growing on her lips as she gave a final look to the grave. “Loo’ya both. Stay well until I get back, okay?” She waited for a response that wouldn’t come before stepping away and across the frost slicked lawn of the cemetery. Sam would get what was coming to her, Alice swore that on her life she would.
“Am comin’ fer ya Sammy, are ya ready, lass?”